In the US, about 40 to 50% of marriages end up in divorce, and this is only for “first” marriages as the rate of divorce for subsequent marriages is significantly higher. Divorce has somehow become quite mainstream and, chances are, you know a couple (whether they’re a colleague, relative, or friend) that have undergone divorce. After divorce proceedings, there’s the complex issue of child custody rights, then finalizing child support arrangement with your family lawyer in Santa Fe before your family can try to resume regular life.
Unfortunately, that’s not the end of it. As common as divorce has become, couples and parents are rarely prepared or knowledgeable on how to go about raising their children after divorce. Parenthood as a couple is already difficult, but divorce can further complicate this, which is why it’s a good idea to get all the help you need and learn as many advice and tips on raising children after a divorce.
No Blame, No Anger
One of the most important things you’d want to remember is that you shouldn’t speak badly about the other parent to your kids. Any negative opinions or feelings you have for your former spouse should not be communicated to your children. Remember, raising your children is not about you or your ill relationship towards your former partner. Not only will speaking ill against your former partner develop confusion or conflict with the children, but it can create unnecessary drama between you and your former partner. If you need to vent out, do it with a close friend or relative, but not the children.
Maintain (and possibly improve) Communication With The Other Parent
Not to say that raising children isn’t a one-parent job, but it’s a lot easier to still be able to raise the children with a partner, in a sense. So both parents should keep an open line, be updated on plans, any developments with the children, and such so that (depending on the custody and living arrangements), the other parent can properly plan what to do or what to say in case of any issues. The point here is that you should still work as a unit in raising the children, even if you have different living arrangements. Coordination is key, and the key to coordination is communication. If you can’t improve or rebuild your relationship with your former partner, then at least keep things civil or professional for the sake of the children, and have a clear line of communication.
Be Wary Of Your Children’s Behavior
It’s possible that your children may start acting out or develop issues due to the changes in living arrangements and different parenting approaches. Yes, we know you’re also dealing with issues of your own, but children are more vulnerable and you should be aware of signs of emotional and possibly psychological problems. You can communicate your concern with the other parent in order to come up with a solution, or jointly decide whether or not a professional is needed to aid you.
Divorce itself can be straining and difficult for the couple, and more so for the children. But raising your children after divorce can be an entirely different challenge, which is why it’s best to get as much advice and help as you can get. Every situation differs, but if there’s any takeaway from this list, is that you should always keep your differences aside and put your children’s interest first.